Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Day 16 Highs and Lows

Today I had a job interview. It was nice because it's actually in my field and would be a significant pay raise.

Not sure I'll get it though. I was really excited when the interview ended. I thought I did pretty well.  But the more the day went the more doubt crept in. Not so much about the work but about the office. The man interviewing said that he thought I get bored. I had told him that I can always find things to keep me occupied,  and is true. But the statement keeps nagging at me.

It's not like I'd be on my own completely. There is another Admin in the next room, and there would be customers and other things to keep me busy.  But I would miss the antics of the job I'm in now. They seem to like my social nature. At least some of them do. I wonder I would become withdrawn in a office that didn't allow for some silliness.  Nothing so bazaar as to upset others but surely a basket of flowers for spring isn't awful. Is it?

Now I'm at the waiting stage. I hate waiting. But if I'm offered the job then I'll have to seriously think about it. I've made this move before. But that time it turned out I was just a pawn in some power struggle between my boss and her boss. It wasn't pretty and ended very badly.

So I'm apprehensive about history repeating itself. Not that anyone here seems to understand. Or maybe they just don't care...

OK maybe that was unfair.  I'm just so fed up with people wanting to cry on my shoulder about their problems but as soon as I express a fear or frustration the only thing I get back is "Get over it," "Grow up, your to old to feel like that, " and the classic "Really!" as they look at me with disgust. Why can't they just be encouraging, sympathic,  and understanding like I am when they tell me about their irrational fears.

This is why I don't get attached to people. Why would I? Why share your weakness when they will just throw it in your face later, if not right then?

Maybe the job will work out and maybe it won't.  It's out of my hands now.  No point in worrying over what will come.